


Stories of the Second Self: Damage Control

by John_Steiner



Series: Alter Idem [80]
Category: The Odd Couple (1968), Urban Fantasy - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:33:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/John_Steiner/pseuds/John_Steiner
Summary: As Oscar's Fae chief-of-staff, Felix has had enough. Hopping between and juggling public fiascos under Oscar's term as Cincinnati's vampiric mayor pushes Felix beyond his limits. Felixe calls it quits, and at that moment Oscar realizes he can't bare to see Felix depart. This is his last ditched effort to sway Felix back.
Series: Alter Idem [80]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618813





	Stories of the Second Self: Damage Control

"I'm out, Oscar!" Felix tossed up his hands and strode from the office.

That hurt, Oscar realized. He might be a vampire and, arguably, a sociopath even without the dental cutlery. Yet, Felix wasn't just his Fae chief-of-staff, but also the closest he had as a friend. "Come on!"

"Nope," Felix spun around on one hoof, but still walked down the hall. "It's too much. I can't keep up with every near-disaster you bring down on yourself. Between our long lost employee 'Who Shall Not Be Named' to your political reversal coming so fast all your donors' heads were left spinning, forcing me to spin the new policies at countless campaign events."

Oscar checked his Rolex before trying to follow. "Really, it's not that big a deal."

"Not a big deal to you," Felix pointed with both hands, still soft-clopping backwards past other offices in the city capital. "You don't have to explain to allies on the city council. You didn't have to broach touchy issues with Councilman Candelaria or- worse, his wife, over in her little fiefdom down in Fairfax. Do you realize she has animated suits of armor in her meeting room, powered by magic and armed with sub machine guns? Do you know how unsettling that is, particularly with her background in weaponized magic?"

"Felix, don't be that way," Oscar pleaded holding his hands out while approaching the city hall entrance after dusk. "I'd take a bullet for you, you know that."

"If you weren't immortal," Felix griped, "I'd kill you for saying that."

"You don't mean that," Oscar assured himself more than Felix.

"I mean to quit," Felix asserted, not noticing the four werewolf security contractors outside the front doors holding the press at bay.

"Alright, how about a deal," Oscar proposed.

"No more deals," Felix raised a finger, and then both palms. "No more arrangements, no more promises. We both know what those mean to you, Oscar."

"This one I will honor," Oscar offered, inwardly grinning. "If you get to the parking lot without changing your mind I won't get in the way of you quitting."

Immediately, Felix was suspicious and scrutinized Oscar, still halfway back into the foyer. "No, Oscar, I know you. You're up to something."

"Sure, but that shouldn't stop you, right?" Oscar asked, finally closing the last distance to Felix and the front doors.

"Fine," Felix accepted, and turned to open the doors.

Then, Felix stopped and asked, "What's all this?"

"You needn't worry, of course," Oscar replied, pushing Felix through and following him outside. "After all, you're not in charge of my messes anymore."

All at once, reporters hurled questions, but not at Felix. Rather, they addressed Oscar directly.

"What the...?" Felix spun to face Oscar.

"Everything's fine," Oscar told the crowd of journalists, including several from television networks. "I was just discussing with Felix our new direction. We wish him well in whatever future endeavor he undertakes."

"Could you answer to that?" one reporter asked, before thrusting one of three microphones in Felix's face.

"Ah," Felix stalled out of confusion. "Could you repeat the question?"

"It's been rumored that you approached Councilman Candelaria about offering to assist in his bid to topple the mayor in his reelection campaign," the reporter explained, causing Felix to blanch at what he saw as an accusation.

"Uh... wait a minute," Felix stammered, fleetingly glared at Oscar, but seemed to remember that media was watching, and resumed his public face. "The context is-- definitely off.

"No," Felix shifted into full PR mode, practically by reflex. "I consulted with the councilman regarding his support for the mayor's priorities and proposals. With the mayor's change of heart on these sensitive issues, he found himself at odds with the councilman, over concerns with the city's diverse voting demographics. I reminded Councilman Candelaria that, while he and the mayor shared a common constituency, that they needed to expand their view to accommodate the entire city of Cincinnati and not just Fairfax or Silverton."

"So," another reporter wedged in to ask, "The story that you were planning on resigning as Chief-of-Staff to then join Councilman Candelaria's campaign to unseat the mayor are not true?"

"That's correct...," Felix said, and quickly interjected for clarity. "I wouldn't dream of acting against the mayor in such a fashion, and while I can sympathize with Councilman Candelaria's concerns, it would be improper to take my insider knowledge of this administration, to then undermine it from outside."

"As you can see," Oscar jumped in to add. "My good friend, and yours, has opted to remain as Chief-of-Staff for the duration of my tenure as your mayor."

When reporters finally drew back, partly under the gentle but stern guidance of security, Felix leaned over to Oscar to mutter, "I don't know what you planted in the rumor mill, Oscar, but know that I will never forgive you for it."

"You're welcome, Felix," a smirking, Oscar replied, and smiled big for the cameras while draping an arm around Felix's shoulder and shaking him. "You couldn't possibly risk your upstanding and respectable reputation to walk away under such odious circumstances."

Oscar's solid black eyes disturbed most people, but it was Felix's eyes that truly flung daggers across the distance between them.


End file.
